www.candidwithryan.crd.co

CANDID with Ryan Leckie

Welcome to our space for candid conversations about life, self-development, and everything in between. We’re all figuring it out, so let’s embrace the mess, learn from setbacks, and grow with resilience, authenticity, and a bit of sarcasm and laughter—who says we have to take ourselves so seriously?

If you have any questions or topics you'd like to ask or discuss, you can email Ryan directly. Your submission will be addressed anonymously and featured on the podcast.

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What Do You Think You're Doing Here?

Published: 1 October 2024We’ve all had that moment where we stride into a room with purpose, only to stop dead in our tracks and think, “Wait, what am I doing here?” And if your inner voice is anything like mine, the tone of that question is far from polite. There's definitely some sass behind it, almost judgey—like, "Really? You thought this was a good idea?" It’s like life’s ultimate riddle. And if life really were a series of rooms, “What do you think you’re doing here?” would be the ultimate recurring question for me. Spoiler alert: I’m still figuring out the answer, but hey, isn't that part of the fun?Today’s a bit of a big one—it’s my first blog entry, and it also happens to be my 32nd birthday. Birthdays are a natural time for reflection, and every year I find myself learning more about who I am, what I stand for, and what truly matters. These days, I’m feeling more confident in myself. I know what I value, and I know what I can offer those around me, whether that’s being the quick-witted friend who’s always good for a laugh or the fiercely loyal family member who’s not afraid to stand their ground. This has developed over time, and I’m pretty sure my younger self would give me a nod of approval. I'm sure he could have really used a few of these traits earlier on.More than anything, today I'm reminded of how grateful I am for the people who’ve been there for me—family, friends, colleagues—you all make the journey worthwhile. For the record, I'm not a fan of the word "journey" but it works. Note to self: work harder next time to find a better word. Anyway, back to business. Those who know me well also understand that at the heart of it, I’m quite a reserved and, dare I say, antisocial person. So, when I take on new challenges—whether that’s landing a new job, moving to a different city, or even writing this blog—those decisions are often a big deal for me. For those still getting to know me, I’ve learned to step into an amplified version of myself. Sure, I can totally see that might be surprising. I can be confident and keep a conversation flowing really well, but that’s just one facet of who I am. I’ve realised I have many different sides to me, and I’ve become skilled at leaning into what works for each situation and person. Sigh! It can be draining, and sometimes I need to recharge, for days, weeks even.So, why did I start a blog? For as long as I can remember, writing has been one of the ways I’ve made sense of the world. Whether it was a random post on social media, a half-finished poem, or an attempt at song lyrics, writing has always been my outlet. It’s only recently that I realised this could be more than just a side hobby. Even if it’s just a handful of people (hi, Mum!) reading this, I’m cool with it. Honestly, writing feels like my own personal therapy. It’s cathartic—a way to sort through the noise in my head when everything feels a bit too much. Sometimes, putting your thoughts out there into the void is exactly what you need to make sense of it all.And speaking of stepping out into the unknown, I’ve spent the past few years challenging myself to embrace change. Whether it’s been in my professional life or personal life, I’ve made a habit of walking into those new metaphorical rooms and asking, “What do you think you're doing here?” I’ve taken on new roles, pushed myself to learn new skills, and even moved interstate, twice, living in both Melbourne and Sydney. Each city brought its own set of experiences, challenges, and a few hilarious misadventures along the way. But no matter where I go, Perth will always be home. Perth is where the memories are—the people, the places, the experiences that shaped me. No matter how far I roam, I’ll carry the heart of Perth with me wherever I go.That said, I’ve got my eyes set on something even bigger for this next chapter. But am I really that surprised? I dream of exploring new cultures, meeting new people, and diving headfirst into unfamiliar adventures. More on that in due course, but for now, let’s just say I’m ready to jump into the unknown once again. Looking back on my 32 years, there's been many times I've asked myself, “What do you think you're doing here?” Truthfully, I don’t have a definite answer, and maybe that’s the point. What I do know is that I’m curious. Curious about the world, curious about people, curious about what’s next. And I’ve come to realise that sometimes the best experiences come when you embrace the uncertainty, even when it’s uncomfortable. One day, I’ll look back on all the times I didn’t know what I was doing and be glad I went for it anyway.So here we are. If you’ve ever found yourself standing in a new place, whether it’s a career move, a new city, a relationship, or even just scrolling through this blog, wondering, “What do you think you're doing here?”—maybe, just maybe, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Even if, like me, you occasionally forget why you walked in to begin with. Because let’s be honest, sometimes the magic happens in those moments of uncertainty. The truth is, life’s too short to stay comfortable all the time—ugh! I do love being comfortable. It's about pushing boundaries, learning, growing, and sometimes stumbling a little. So, I invite you to join me weekly, as we navigate the ups and downs of life together. Who knows what we’ll discover along the way? I might not have all the answers, but I’m sure we’ll find some interesting questions to ponder. And as we take on this adventure, let’s not be afraid to keep pushing ourselves, and being able to ask, “What do you think you’re doing here?” more often. Because, in the end, it might just lead us to the answers we never knew we were searching for.

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Wait, Does That Make Me a Serial Killer?

Published: 6 October 2024Alright, let’s clear the air: no, I’m not a serial killer. Well, at least not that I’m aware of. Do I potentially possess some traits that could align with the profile of one? That’s debatable—depends on how much coffee I’ve had that day. But here’s what I do know for certain: I’ve got quite the fascination with all things crime, serial killers, and the spine-chilling world of documentaries and podcasts. Yep, second blog in, and we’re already diving into the depths of my psyche. I wonder if this will tank my dating life. It can't get any worse. Oh well, their loss.My love for all things suspenseful started early. Who would’ve thought that Harriet the Spy would lead me down this path? I’d like to think it was all innocent—just a young sleuth with a notebook. But then came Veronica Mars, Dexter, You, and well, here we are. In recent years, streaming platforms have completely taken over the genre, serving up binge-worthy documentaries like Making a Murderer, Night Stalker, and Don’t F#%k with Cats (side note: that one was wild, and I’m not even a fan of cats). I’ve also been enjoying Based on a True Story, a darkly comedic take on true crime and podcasting—imagine turning a murder mystery into podcast gold. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favour.Now, I need to get this off my chest. I have two confessions to make. Here’s the first one, and I’ll save the other for later in this blog, because, well, it might set off some serious alarms. I find a strange sense of calm listening to crime podcasts as I fall asleep. Yep, while some people doze off to the sounds of rain or white noise, here I am peacefully drifting into dreamland to the latest gruesome tale of murder. Nothing like a bedtime story about serial killers creeping through windows, right? I know—there goes any chance of getting a date now.I mean, who knew that a killer’s next move could be the ultimate sleep aid? It’s ironic, really. There I am, eyes fluttering shut to the gruesome details, only to wake up in a cold sweat when I need to dash to the toilet in the middle of the night. Now, let me tell you, the Simone Biles level of acrobatics involved in launching myself from the bedroom door to my bed is top-tier (because everyone knows the killer snuck in while you were gone and could grab you from under the bed). All those years of athletics training paid off. Well, technically Dad paid, but you get my point.Also, can we be real: we all have that one person we know—not in our close circle, because obviously, we’d never keep a potential serial killer that close—but someone lingering on the outskirts of our lives, who, if they showed up in a Netflix true crime documentary, we’d be like, ‘Yeah, that tracks.’ Maybe it’s the way they stare just a little too long without blinking, or how they have an oddly specific knowledge of soundproofing a basement. I’m always extra nice to them—just in case, you know? Gotta be smart.Watching these shows, I can’t help but wonder what makes someone snap and take such a dark turn. It’s always complex—a mix of family background, trauma, and who knows what else. But what drives them to justify such horrific acts? Is it the rush? The control? The thing is, we’ve all probably had fleeting thoughts of how we’d handle it if we ever committed a murder. I’m not saying I’ve got a plan (yet), but let’s just say Annalise Keating from How to Get Away with Murder has definitely provided some food for thought. Still, with the sheer effort involved—and all that CCTV everywhere—it hardly seems worth it. And don’t get me started on how stupid some of these criminals are. I mean, no gloves? No hairnet? Keeping trophies? They’re basically asking for their own arrest.Then comes the trial. Honestly, I’d love to be on the jury of a high-profile case. Where’s my summons for that? People get called for jury duty all the time, and I’m still sitting here waiting. Can I be like Katniss in The Hunger Games and volunteer as tribute? If I finally got called and it was for some petty misdemeanour, I’d be absolutley crushed. Give me the drama, people! Well, I likely wouldn't be selected anyway, my face does this thing where it tells you exactly what I'm thinking most of the time (thanks, Mum!). So, why are we all so hooked on this dark obsession? Is it the allure of life and death, the thrill of solving mysteries from our living room? or just plain human curiosity? Whatever the reason, there’s no denying many of us are in the same boat—binge-watching and drifting off to sleep listening to true crime. Surely, I’m not the only one, right?And now for the other confession I mentioned earlier—well, here it is: I once [error loading page...]

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The Cheat Code to Your Next Promotion

Published: 8 October 2024So, you’re aiming for that next promotion, are you? The one with a shiny new title, a pay bump, and maybe even an office with actual windows. But here’s the thing: promotions don’t just fall from the sky. You’ve got to play the game, and lucky for you, I’ve got the cheat code.As someone who has spent a good amount of time in HR working with managers and employees on topics such as performance (both good and bad), I’ve seen people try all sorts of things. Spoiler alert: there’s no magic trick. It’s all about strategy, and I’m here to help you get it right.— Step 1: Know Your “Playbook”Most workplaces should have performance frameworks and position descriptions. Think of them as cheat sheets for success. Want to know where the goalposts are? It’s all in there. Now, I get it—there’s nothing like the joy of seeing another email with links to documents that have 17 tabs (ugh!). But seriously, dive into those frameworks and familiarise yourself with the expectations of your current role. Yes, I’m telling you to read that position description. It’s not just there to collect digital dust on the intranet.Make sure you're ticking all those boxes—or at the very least, making a significant dent in them. If you're falling short, it's time to refocus and get things in order before you start daydreaming about stepping up to the next level. Don’t wait until a few months before performance reviews—your manager is looking for consistency and dedication over time. After all, there's no point signing up for a 10km race if you're only training for 5km. Set yourself up for success.— Step 2: Prepare for the Next RoleOnce you’ve got your current role under control and are consistently hitting your targets, it’s time to look ahead to your next opportunity. Reflect on what the next position entails. Take a close look at the stretch goals and deliverables outlined in the framework. These are the skills and responsibilities that may not be expected of you right now but will become essential when you’re promoted. Guess what? That’s your new focus. Start actively working on these skills and goals now. The best way to demonstrate your readiness for the next role is to already be performing parts of it. This proactive approach not only highlights your ambition but also prepares you for a smoother transition when the time comes.Please remember not to burn yourself out trying to be a superhero. I’ve been there—staring at a to-do list longer than my Netflix watchlist can feel overwhelming! Instead, identify specific areas where you can start to stretch yourself. Focus on manageable goals that allow you to step up and showcase your capability for more responsibility. By gradually incorporating these elements into your daily routine, you’ll position yourself as a strong candidate for when the opportunity arises.— Step 3: Use Your 1:1 Meetings Like a ProLet’s talk about those 1:1 meetings with your manager—you know, that person you report to who’s obviously a flawless, all-knowing guru of leadership, just bursting with wisdom and compassion (because that’s totally how all managers operate, right?). These meetings are prime real estate for your career development, but only if you use them wisely. Don't just spend the entire time running through your work in progress, yes, that’s important, but carve out part of that time to talk about yourself. Don’t assume they know what you want, or what you're working towards. Discuss your goals, update your manager on how you’re tracking against them, or share a current challenge you're working through, and what you're planning to do to manage it. What I'm saying is, you really need to take control of these meetings.Good managers want to advocate for you. Nothing makes them happier than showing off how strong their team is—because, let’s be honest, it makes them look good too. That being said, not all managers are cut from the same cloth. If yours doesn’t seem invested in your development or you’re not getting the time and support you need, maybe that’s a conversation worth having. Sometimes, the real promotion is finding a better fit elsewhere. (Yes, I went there; life’s too short.)— Bonus Tips & Final AdviceAgain, don’t try to conquer everything at once. Set goals that are realistic but still challenge you. You want to push yourself but not to the point where you’re crying into your coffee every Monday morning—speaking of which, this reminds me, I need to check in with Janet (a totally fictional character, obviously) about her daily breakdowns. It’s starting to scare the newbies who’ve just joined, and we can’t have them thinking this is part of the onboarding process! I mean, it’s bad enough she’s been in a full-blown grieving process since her hamster died; the last thing we need is a workplace support group for that.Anyway, that's something for me to take care of. I digress—let's get back to you. What else did I want to tell you? Oh, right—be a team player! Ask your manager, “Is there anything else I can do to help?” Quick wins that take something off their plate will have them in your corner in no time. (Scratch their back, and they just might scratch yours—figuratively, of course. Let’s keep it HR-friendly, people). You should also ask about any projects or work that you could help out with. Taking the initiative shows your commitment and can set you up for future success.Look, there’s no shortcut from ‘Team Member’ to ‘CEO’ overnight—and if there were, I’d be concerned. But with the right strategy—understanding expectations, consistently going above and beyond, being transparent about your goals, and setting achievable targets—you’ll be well on your way. When you finally secure that promotion, please remember to be the mentor and advocate you wished you had while navigating your own career. It’s important to support those coming up behind you. Keep pushing, keep planning, and keep those open conversations going.Now, go forth and game the system—just don’t tell anyone I gave you the cheat code.

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Boundaries 101: Your Time, Your Rules

Published: 13 October 2024Here's the thing—setting boundaries is like trying to finish a TV series without someone spoiling the ending for you. It’s a constant, daily struggle. You know that feeling when you wake up, check your calendar, and think, “Why did I say yes to this? I thought they meant next October... I’m sure they said 2025.” It’s like you wanted to be polite in the moment, but now you’re trapped.The funny thing is, I usually leave these get-togethers thinking, “That wasn’t half bad. Why don't we do this more often?” But then I immediately get in the car and think, “Cool, don’t have to do this again for at least another three months.” So, yeah, this blog is about to expose me, but I’m fine with it. Future Ryan can deal with the fallout. He's already got a grudge against me anyway. Let’s chat about Boundaries 101: Your Time, Your Rules with my signature blend of brutal honesty, sarcasm, and just enough charm to hopefully make me seem less horrible.First off, boundaries are like an invisible force field. You can’t see it, but when someone crosses it, you definitely feel it. Whether it’s a coworker asking you for yet another favour or that friend who turns a five-minute coffee catch-up into a full-on therapy session about the guy she's dating—who you told her to leave, and she said she would, and look where we are again (and yes, I will be charging you for this advice)—we’ve all been there. Boundaries are necessary—they’re how you protect your time, your energy, and honestly, your sanity.Let’s talk about those boundary fails, though. You know what I’m talking about—the spontaneous plans you instantly regret. You say “yes” to dinner a week out, and it's on a Tuesday! Are you kidding me? I just survived the workday, and now I need to somehow talk myself into going back there again tomorrow. So, when the day of dinner comes around, you’re practically plotting an escape route. It’s not that you don’t like your friends—okay, sometimes it is—but most of the time, you just need a (fort)night to sit in peace, doing absolutely nothing. And don’t even think about judging me. I see you out there, bailing on plans too. I'm just being open about it.The key here? Find friends who get it. The kind who understand when you’re not up for a social marathon and just want to binge-watch some terrible reality show because it makes you feel better about your life. Honestly, do you really want me there if I’m mentally checked out? Spoiler: you don’t. Also, shoutout to my Mum again because she's definitely reading this. Hi, Mum! She's also rolling her eyes right now because yes, I know I’ve bailed on family events for the fifth time this year... oops. I’ll make it to the next one, I promise! Or not. But love you!Now, I really set a whole new boundary recently. My friends have bought themselves Crocs. Not just any Crocs, though. We’re talking about those with little itty-bitty cartoon characters stuck all over them. And while I do love them dearly, I’ve instantly put a boundary on that friendship, and that's a wrap. I deleted them off social media and blocked their numbers. No, I’m kidding; I love them. But if they start trying to get me to buy a pair and suggest we start hanging out wearing matching Crocs, I’m out. Delete. Block. It starts with Crocs, and next thing you know, it’s escalated into a full-on religious cult. I’m not falling for that. Again... but that’s a story for another time.Next time someone tries to rope you into plans, hit them with, “That sounds great! Let me check with my Mum first; I think we have a family thing on, so I'll get back to you in a couple of days.” Boom—instant exit strategy. Now, yes, I may have pulled this on some of you reading this, and Mum is probably really not loving me right now. Consider my cover blown.Politeness is always key; don't be an asshole about it, but we need to stop acting like boundaries are these awkward barriers. They’re not. Boundaries are your personal security system. And trust me, once you get good at setting them, you’ll be amazed at how much easier life gets. Sure, setting boundaries feels uncomfortable at first, but I promise, with some practice, you'll be thanking me. My next step in this boundary love affair is taking it to another level. It’s called the 'art of saying no.' It's this brutal phrase where you don’t have to explain yourself. Just, 'No thanks,' and it's a full sentence. Savage, I know. I'll keep you posted on how that one goes...Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with my sofa, there’s this whole blanket burrito situation, and a Netflix queue that’s not going to watch itself. That’s a boundary I’m absolutely not breaking for anyone.

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Offline: 30 Days Without Social Media

Published: 18 October 2024So, picture this: you wake up and don’t immediately reach for your phone. No notifications, no Instagram stories, no Twitter meltdowns. It’s just you, your thoughts, and a really good cup of coffee. Sounds like some kind of bizarre alternate universe, right? It didn’t used to be. Well, I decided to test it out for 30 days and take a stroll into life before my life went online. Here’s what I learned, what I missed, and—more importantly—what I didn’t miss one bit.Yes, on one hand, social media connects us to people, news, and the latest viral trends from across the world. It’s the best way to keep in touch—whether it’s your old high school friends or the travel buddies you met in Amsterdam. Which reminds me, I should totally recap my trip to Europe. Writing this down now so I don’t forget. Hold me accountable, people. Anyway, between memes, life hacks, and those random soap-cutting videos (which are oddly satisfying), it also delivers a good laugh and can ignite creativity. If something major happens, you’ll find out faster on Twitter (or, fine, X) than from any news outlet—though I still wonder why Twitter didn’t really take off in Australia. I wish it had. I even bullied most of my friends into signing up. Oh, and let’s not forget those cute updates, like Sarah’s baby turning 36 months old today (wait for it…). Then there’s LinkedIn, which doubles as a virtual networking event—a digital cocktail party, I guess you could say, minus the awkward small talk.But on the other hand, it can be a time-sucking rabbit hole. How many times have you opened Instagram or TikTok for just five minutes, only to realise five hours have gone by? I’m not exaggerating—it’s a real addiction. I get worried when those TikTok ads pop up reminding me to take a break. I see them quite often… like 2-3 times a night. Then there’s the comparison trap: everyone’s life looks like a highlight reel, and suddenly yours just doesn’t stack up. And FOMO? Even if you had zero plans to go out, scrolling through someone else’s night can make you feel like you’re missing the social event of the year. But then you realise you’d rather be home in bed anyway, because duh!And, of course, there’s the issue of privacy—social media tracks everything. Your Snapchats never truly disappear. You’re basically handing over your life, location, and every post on a platter, which gives that low-key sketchy person in your life more details than they should have. (And yes, that’s a throwback to a previous blog I wrote. If you know, you know.)So, Ryan, what happened when you stepped away for a month? Oh, I’m glad you asked. Well, at first, it was weird—like I was missing out on the world’s biggest group chat. But after the initial FOMO died down, some pretty surprising things happened. I became more present. I know, I know, it sounds cliché, and I’m rolling my eyes at myself too, but hear me out. Conversations felt more meaningful when I would catch up with friends for coffee, instead of going there already knowing exactly what they did last week. Without the constant distractions, I also rediscovered hobbies I had neglected. With all that scrolling out of the way, I finally had time to sit down and write, which led to this blog. And, yeah, now the podcast.My creativity received a serious boost, like a jolt from those things used in emergency rooms—what are they called again? Oh, defibrillators! Turns out, when you stop endlessly consuming content, your brain starts coming up with its own. Sure, I missed seeing updates from people I barely talk to anymore, but I’ll be brutally honest and lean into the unfiltered part of this platform—do I really need to know that Sarah’s baby is 36 months old? Sarah, cut the crap. Your kid is 3.Now, I didn’t quit social media for good, because “Hi, hey, hello!” It has its perks, after all. But the secret to getting it right? Balance. Who would have thought? Everything in moderation (ugh, side note: diets suck!). You control social media, or it’ll control you. Like I mentioned in my last blog, Boundaries 101: Your Time, Your Rules (yes, another throwback—wow, I’m good at this), setting boundaries applies to social media too. Limit yourself to specific times during the day—maybe 15 minutes in the morning on the way to work, and 15 minutes in the evening after work. But please, put the phone down when you’re driving. Don’t be stupid. Instead, listen to my podcast Unfiltered & Unsolicited on Spotify and Apple Podcasts (yep, another shameless plug). Sometimes I question why I’m in HR—I feel like my talents would be well-suited to marketing.Another thing you can do: Marie Kondo your feed—if it doesn’t spark joy, unfollow. If unfollowing feels a little too aggressive, use the “hide” option. The goal? Reduce the negativity, and surround yourself with content that actually makes you feel good and interests you. Yep, that’s right—bye, Sarah! Haha, I kid, I kid.These were my biggest takeaway’s. When I stopped obsessively consuming, I started creating more. Writing, podcasting, whatever. The point is: focus on what you can bring to the table, not what everyone else is dishing out on theirs. It’s freeing to step away from the grid every now and then to focus on what truly matters—your creativity, your mental health, and the relationships that actually exist in the real world. Social media isn’t going anywhere, but we decide how much space we let it take up.And hey, if you do decide to take a break, I won’t judge if you keep notifications on for my posts. Let’s be real—a break from me might not be the healthiest choice for your mental well-being! Until next time, my friends.

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Reality Show-Mance: Passion or Production?

Published: 25 October 2024As I settled in to watch Love is Blind: UK to make myself feel better about being single, I found myself thinking about the astonishing speed at which contestants are throwing around the phrase “I love you.” How can you declare undying love within just a couple of episodes? Honestly, I’ve taken serious offence that people are going into these shows and finding “I love you” action within mere days! Is that really what I need to do to get a little tender loving care? Maybe I should throw myself into a "reality" show and hope for the best—who knew love could be a competitive sport?The rapid-fire confessions of love make me cringe. I guess you can say I'm sceptical. Are we witnessing genuine connections, or is this just a well-scripted drama designed to keep us entertained? With producers playing puppet masters behind the scenes, it’s hard to know whether those heartfelt moments are authentic or just another cleverly orchestrated plot. After all, these shows thrive on melodrama, conflict, and heightened emotions. It’s like watching a soap opera but with less soap and more awkward silences—don’t get me wrong, that’s part of the appeal for me too.This brings me to UnREAL, a phenominal show that hilariously and unflinchingly peels back the layers of reality TV production. Created by Marti Noxon—yes, the same genius who helped produce my other love, Buffy the Vampire Slayer—UnREAL is a masterclass in showcasing just how absurd the world of dating shows can be. At the centre of this chaotic whirlwind is Constance Zimmer, who plays the formidable Quinn King. She’s one of my favourite characters of all time. Give her all the awards!Zimmer’s performance is nothing short of electric; she embodies the cutthroat world of reality TV producing with a sharp wit and fierce determination that makes Quinn one of the most compelling characters on screen. Not only do I respect her, I aspire to be more like her too. Her portrayal has earned her numerous accolades, highlighting her ability to balance the darkly comedic elements of her character with genuine moments of vulnerability. She navigates the murky waters of ambition and morality with such skill that you can’t help but be captivated. Quinn is a character you love to hate, and Zimmer plays her with a brilliance that keeps you on the edge of your seat. If you’re looking for a performance that blends humour, intensity, and depth, look no further than Zimmer in UnREAL.After watching UnREAL, I can honestly say I could never view reality TV shows the same way again. The show exposes how manufactured these so-called “realities” are. It’s one thing to enjoy the drama and romance, but it’s another to realise that what we’re witnessing is often meticulously crafted. One scene that truly stands out is when Quinn’s team orchestrates a cocktail party. In a wild twist, one of the producers dresses as a waiter to blend into the background while discreetly giving direction and notes to the contestants. Talk about a behind-the-scenes power play! It’s a surreal moment that encapsulates the absurdity of the entire reality TV genre. This blending of roles highlights just how invasive and controlling the production process can be, turning what viewers think of as spontaneous interactions into scripted performances.But back to Love is Blind: UK—as we watch these couples get engaged after only a handful of conversations, it begs the question: how many of these relationships actually last? Spoiler alert: not many. The reality is that many of these couples don’t make it past the show’s finale, and it’s easy to see why. Are we really supposed to believe that someone on one side of the country is going to pack up their life and move across the country for a stranger they met in a pod? It seems ridiculous, yet here we are, glued to our screens as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.Take a look at past seasons of various dating shows across the world; the odds are not in favour of these relationships. Sure, there are a few success stories that get splashed across headlines, but they’re the exceptions, not the rule. Most couples end up parting ways shortly after the cameras stop rolling, leaving us to wonder what really went on behind the scenes. Was it love? Or just the thrill of the chase and the lure of being on television?I often think reality television was at its best when it was less scripted. People are messy, and that messiness is what makes us human. The audience can sense when something is genuine, and the raw moments are often the most compelling. It’s in those unscripted interactions that we see true emotions, authentic connections, and the beautiful chaos of love and life. Watching UnREAL alongside Love is Blind: UK serves as a reminder to question what we consume. Are we really witnessing heartfelt connections, or just watching a carefully curated spectacle? Just to be clear, I will totally be watching the next season.So, please do yourself a favour and add UnREAL to your watch-list. It’s one of the greatest shows out there. You’ll find yourself chuckling and cringing in equal measure, gaining insight into the delicate dance between love and production that defines modern dating shows. In a world where “I love you” can be casually tossed around before the first commercial break, it’s crucial to reflect on the authenticity behind those words. If love really is that easy, I'm excited to announce that you will see me working on my audition tape very soon. Who knows? Maybe my next love story is just a casting call away.

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Dear Younger Self: Your Path Is Uniquely Yours

Published: 1 November 2024Dear younger self,I’ve been wanting to write to you for a long time, but I never really knew what to say. There’s so much I want to share with you—lessons learned through the highs and lows, the detours and the unexpected turns. If I could sit down with you, I would sing you the song of life—well, at least the verses I've learned so far—and share with you the lyrics you needed to know. I know I can’t tell you exactly what roads to follow; I know you’ll make the best decisions you feel in the moment and that you will eventually find your way. But for the record, here are some things I think you should keep in mind.Firstly, please take the time to get to know yourself. Explore what makes you unique—the qualities that set you apart and make you special. Embrace your talents and quirks; they are what make you who you are, even if you don't feel that way just yet. And keep your cheekiness and snark—it will help to keep you entertained around boring people! It’s easy to get lost in the noise of others’ expectations, but remember: being brave enough to be yourself is more than enough. Lean into your passions and interests, even if they seem unconventional. They will be your guiding stars, illuminating your path in ways you can’t yet imagine. You should celebrate your progress and achievements, no matter how small. Each step forward is a victory worth recognising, and your path is uniquely yours. Hold onto the life that shines so brightly in your eyes and heart; it’s a gift that will carry you through.It's important to prioritise your mental health. Taking care of your mind is one of the most empowering decisions you will make. The world may suggest that constant striving is the only way to succeed, but true fulfilment comes from balance. Don’t sacrifice your well-being for the sake of ambition or for others. Take time to rest, recharge, and practise self-compassion. You’ll find that you can achieve your goals while still being kind to yourself. The most powerful thing you can do is to nurture your spirit. It will give you strength in moments of doubt and clarity when life feels chaotic.Invest in your relationships; they will be the heart of your happiness. The people you surround yourself with will matter far more than any accomplishment. Make time for laughter, deep conversations, and shared moments that create lasting memories. While medals and promotions might make you feel significant for a minute, the joy you find in meaningful work and connections will nourish your soul in ways that accolades never could. Surround yourself with those who inspire you, who challenge you to grow, and who remind you of the beauty of being alive. As you navigate relationships, remember that it’s okay to outgrow people and situations that no longer serve you. Change is a natural part of life, and holding onto relationships that weigh you down will only hinder your growth. Be open to falling in love, even if your biggest heartbreak makes it feel like you won’t. Someone special will come along, but only if you open your heart and want them to.Being yourself is your greatest strength. In your early years, it might feel tempting to conform to what others want you to be. Resist that urge. The qualities you might think need to be toned down or hidden are often the very traits that make you shine. Over time, you’ll learn that authenticity is magnetic. People are drawn to those who are real, and you’ll find deeper connections when you allow yourself to be vulnerable. Also, be kinder to your body. It's the vehicle you'll use to navigate this beautiful, messy life, so treat it with the respect and care it deserves. Don’t take your health for granted, for it's the foundation of everything you wish to achieve. And remember, regardless of what others say, wearing all black is perfectly fine. If it feels good for you, then wear it confidently.Understand that it’s perfectly okay to not have it all figured out. There’s no magic age at which you suddenly know all the answers—if there is, I'll be sure to write to you again. What I've worked out so far is that life is a continuous path of learning, and it’s the unknown that often brings the most growth. Welcome the uncertainty; it’s where possibilities reside. Trust yourself and your instincts—you’re more resilient than you realise. You will stumble, and that’s part of life. Each setback will teach you something valuable; every tear will give way to a new perspective.Above all, continue to cherish your family. I know you do, but it’s important to remember that even the briefest moments can enrich your life. Hold on to every laugh, every story, and every quiet moment together. Hug them a little tighter and for a little longer. Take the time to sit down with your parents and ask them more about their lives. Did you know they had a whole story before you came along? It's wild, right?Finally, Ryan, be brave, be curious, and, most importantly, be you. Life will throw its challenges your way, but never lose the courage to keep moving forward. I can't wait for you to experience all the moments that have brought me the most happiness. Please remember, you are never alone, even if your mind tries to convince you otherwise. There’s a world full of experiences waiting for you.P.S. I hope you're old enough to read this. If not, ask Mum—just a heads-up: try to avoid asking Nan... Her strong Scottish accent might make it difficult for you, and you will end up needing speech therapy to relearn your vowels at some point.With love,
Your future self

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Right or Wrong? A Political Perspective

Published: 8 November 2024Now, before you start to read, take a deep breath, hold it, and now breathe out. Ok, are you with me? Let’s begin.With another U.S. election behind us, it’s hard not to pause and consider the impact this has had—not just on Americans, but on people all over the world. I mean, when the U.S. sneezes, the whole world catches a cold, right? Regardless of personal views on the outcome, it’s a moment that reminds us of the importance of respecting each other’s perspectives, even when they diverge. As polarised as things may seem (and let’s be real, at least for me, it feels this way), every voice reflects genuine hopes, fears, and beliefs. We don’t have to agree with all of them, but acknowledging where others are coming from can bridge divides and promote more constructive dialogue.When election cycles get heated, a familiar phrase tends to surface: “It’s time to unite.” Sure, let’s all hold hands and sing Kumbaya, right? But the question of how we go about uniting in a world of such strong opinions isn’t a simple one. It’s clear that people feel passionately about their views, and those feelings aren’t going to disappear overnight. For some, the election outcome aligned with their hopes for change; for others, it was a serious disappointment. Yet, if we are to move forward as a society, we need to recognise that while we may not agree on every detail, we should still respect the reasons behind each other’s beliefs. Yes, even if we have to grit our teeth... and maybe roll our eyes a bit. And yes, eye twitching is acceptable, too.I’ve always believed that most people—at least, I’d hope—want to see good in the world. People want fairness, justice, and a society where everyone feels valued and safe. Yet, frustration around equality is growing, and for good reason. It’s not about dismissing the experiences of minorities; the concern lies in the belief that fairness means lifting some at the expense of others, rather than elevating everyone together. Equity should mean reaching the same level, not gaining privilege over others. When we push too hard in one direction, we’re not uniting; we’re deepening the divide. The pendulum swinging too far creates more separation, and in this game, balance is key—like everything in life.Which is why, as tempting as it is to pick a side and scream “my team’s better!”—trust me, I’ve been there—sometimes sitting in the middle feels like the only reasonable place to be. Yes, there will be sides I agree with more than others, but that doesn’t mean I have to swallow everything they’re selling. I don’t want to be boxed in and labelled, just because I agree with one aspect of a group’s viewpoint. Have you heard some of the things they say? It’s like being forced to buy the entire season pass to a theme park just because you enjoyed one ride. No thanks.That’s why I like to read as many articles and interviews from all different sides of politics—it's an attempt to keep myself informed and understand the full picture. To move forward, we need to be equipped with what the other side thinks, so we’re not just seeing our own perspectives mirrored back at us.And then there’s the frustration of constantly being reminded of the past, of actions taken by generations before us. There’s a sense of fatigue—people feeling as though they’re somehow responsible or “guilty” for issues they didn’t create, as if they’re expected to carry the weight of another generation’s choices. Sure, we all inherit some part of history, but the constant guilt trip? It’s getting old. That’s why we’ve seen such a divide in politics and voting results around the world in recent years. You try to force-feed people your opinions, and they’ll push back twice as hard. For many, this approach only deepens resentment, pushing people away from understanding rather than bringing them closer.The expectation to instantly relearn your vocabulary, your behaviour, your entire worldview—without time to process or understand—is unreasonable. When someone doesn’t pick it up fast enough, the anger can be palpable, and worse, it often leads to violence or harsh judgement. We’re quick to punish people for not adapting at the speed we demand, as if it’s their fault for not meeting a standard they didn’t even know existed. Newsflash: making people feel bad about themselves or their values, or treating them as enemies because they didn’t change overnight, isn’t the way forward. Real progress comes when we meet each other with understanding, patience, and the willingness to help each other grow—without immediate retribution or punishment. Instead, we should focus on creating positive change without placing blame on individuals for the circumstances they were born into. Yes, it’s crucial to strive for improvement, and there’s value in acknowledging past mistakes. But the path forward shouldn’t be paved with guilt. It should foster respect and mutual learning. After all, we can’t change the past, but we can absolutely change how we move forward.The instinct to forcefully argue or impose a perspective on others can be tempting, especially when emotions are running high. But if we’re genuinely trying to build understanding and bring people together, we need to remember that forcing a viewpoint often pushes others further away. It rarely convinces; instead, it deepens resistance and closes the door to meaningful dialogue. We need to focus on bridging gaps—not deepening them. Asking questions, truly listening, and acknowledging that everyone’s views are shaped by their unique experiences and values—that’s how we actually make progress.Now, let’s be real for a second—sometimes, people are just… well, a bit challenged in the common sense department. That's the politest way I can put it. Some people simply haven’t been exposed to different perspectives or have spent so long in their echo chambers that they can’t see beyond their own biases. And yeah, fine, I’ll just say it: sometimes, they’re just not that bright. But, and this is important, I still hold on to hope that they’re not the majority. At the end of the day, there are people out there who will never change, no matter how much you try to reason with them. They’re out there, and they’re probably not worth your energy. But don’t lose hope. Focus on the people in your circle who may have differing views. Be curious. Ask questions. Don’t hold grudges. Those are the people you’re more likely to make an impact with. Engage, challenge, and keep it respectful—because that’s where the real potential for change lies.While it may feel disheartening to see the extreme ends of the political spectrum, we have to consider that there’s often a valid reason behind each perspective. People on all sides are navigating complex social and economic landscapes, and their choices reflect those realities. Sure, sometimes the extremes can be wild (looking at you, radical right and the woke left), but the truth is, we’re all trying to make sense of a pretty messy world.The election also raises questions about standards for leadership. Should there be a difference in how we evaluate the qualifications and character of leaders compared to the rest of us? For many people, the idea of seeing leaders with questionable track records, or even convictions, in power feels disorienting. It sends a terrible message to society that, if you play the game right (or wrong), you can get away with anything. That’s not how you build a fair society. If we allow leaders with dark pasts to thrive, it sends the signal to others that they can do the same. And I’m sorry, but that’s not a message we want to be spreading. This isn’t about “looking past” a person’s history; it’s about whether or not we want to reward unethical behaviour by giving those people more power.This is also a moment that reminds us of the importance of staying informed and engaged with policies on all levels—local, state, and federal. Too often, people overlook the ways these policies shape lives, even when they don’t directly impact us. While we may feel unaffected by a particular law or policy, it could have serious implications for friends, family, and neighbours. If we’re willing to educate ourselves and look beyond our immediate concerns, we can better advocate for a society that values and protects everyone’s rights and needs.I want to leave you with a thought from Vice President Kamala Harris, who recently shared these inspiring words: “There is an adage: Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars. I know many of us worry that we might be heading into a darker time, and for all our sakes, I hope that’s not the case. But if it is, let’s remember that each of us has a chance to bring our own light to the world—to fill the sky with the glow of a billion brilliant stars." If we can come together with open hearts and a true respect for one another’s voices, then perhaps unity is closer than it sometimes feels.It’s ok to sit in the sadness right now if you feel like your hope was diminished. Take the time you need to recharge, and then, go be the good in the world. So, take a breath, breathe out, and now, continue to move forward with kindness, and be open to meaningful dialogue.

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Swipe Right or Red Flag? The Dating Game

Published: 13 November 2024Let’s talk about dating, shall we? It’s a wonder we’re all still emotionally intact after enduring years of swiping, ghosting, and “I’m just here for fun” bios. IIf dating apps were a movie, it’d be The Hunger Games—a brutal fight for survival, where you’re desperately trying to avoid getting impaled by someone’s emotional baggage, only to realize that you’re probably going to end up in the district of permanent disappointment. But here we are, still swiping, still hoping.If you're navigating the dating world (or just trying to survive it), you're probably asking yourself: Swipe right or red flag? Spoiler alert: it’s mostly red flags. But we’ll get to that.I recently sat down with my friend, who’s had her fair share of interesting experiences in the dating world, to talk about what we really think when we look at someone’s profile. And, of course, we also got into the nitty-gritty of her experience on Married at First Sight—because nothing says “I’m ready for a lasting relationship” like marrying a stranger on TV.We’ve all been there—eyes glazed over, scrolling through profiles that look like the cast of The Bachelor, all of them perfectly posed in front of sunrises, and holding puppies. You match with someone, they look like a total catch, and for one brief moment, you think, “This is it. This is my person.” And then… they send you a message. And it's usually something so painfully generic that you start questioning all of your life choices. And maybe, just maybe, you wonder if you should just stick to solo dinners with Netflix and a bottle of wine.Here’s the thing: dating apps are a hot mess. You get 3 photos, a snappy little bio, and about 2 seconds of your life to decide if you’re gonna invest in a 5-minute conversation that’s probably going to end in ghosting. But hey, they might have a cute dog, so you swipe right. You know, for the dog.But first, let's talk about the red flags. They’re everywhere, people. Dating apps should come with a warning label: “Warning: Enter at your own risk. May contain multiple red flags disguised as ‘quirks’.” The red flags that scream "I’m emotionally unavailable" from the get-go. You know the ones. They throw out lines like “I don’t like to label things,” “I’m really busy with work right now,” or my personal favourite, “I’m not looking for anything serious.” Translation: I’m going to waste your time and make you question all of your life choices by sending mixed signals for three months. If you see this on a profile, do yourself a favour and swipe left.Here’s the thing about good relationships: they don’t come from swiping right on a person because they made a joke about pizza in their bio (unless you’re desperate, in which case, we need to talk). Good relationships are built on trust, respect, and a shared commitment to making it work. And guess what? If you’re not on the same page, the whole thing’s a joke.A good relationship requires someone who can laugh at the chaos, not someone who causes it. You need someone who can handle your sarcasm without thinking you’re in a bad mood. Someone who doesn’t ghost you after date #3 because they “need space” (and that space better be in a relationship where they actually give a damn). Someone who treats you like a partner, not a project. No one’s perfect, but at least try to find someone who doesn’t make you want to text your ex out of pure frustration after one conversation.Now, let’s talk about my friend’s brief but memorable (and completely sane) attempt at finding love on a reality TV show. Yes, she auditioned for Married at First Sight. Married at First Sight, people. I know, I know. It sounds like the kind of decision you make when you’ve already gone off the rails and decided that maybe marrying a stranger on television is the next step in your dating journey. Spoiler: it’s not.But my friend went for it. Because why not? She figured, “Hey, if they’re gonna let people with questionable life choices get married on TV, I might as well throw my name in the ring.” And listen, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little drama and a lot of potential career opportunities? She made it far in the audition process—further than I’d ever dare go—only to realize that maybe reality TV wasn’t the best place to look for “real” love. Who knew, right?And sure, the idea of marrying a stranger on TV might seem like an absurdly fun and lucrative option, but reality hits hard when you realise the producers probably don’t care if you’re actually compatible. They just need something that will get viewers to scream, “Why am I watching this?!” while eating chips on the couch at 9 p.m.Let’s wrap this up: dating in 2024 is a rollercoaster—minus the fun parts. It's a lot of swiping, a lot of red flags, and a whole lot of questionable decisions. But hey, if nothing else, it’s entertaining, right? I mean, we’re all just trying to figure out if we can make it past three dates without getting ghosted or falling in love with someone who lists “gym” as a hobby. So keep swiping, keep laughing, and maybe take a break from the apps every once in a while. Your mental health will thank you.And remember, if they ask you to marry them at first sight? Run. Just run.

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The Power of Workplace Appreciation

Published: 15 November 2024Running a business isn’t about just showing up, churning out work, and hoping everything magically falls into place. If you want your team to perform at their best, the secret might be simpler than you think: appreciation. You know, the basic human need to feel valued – not just on your birthday or after a huge deal, but consistently. Turns out, a little “thank you, I appreciate it” goes a long way.Here’s a fun fact: when people feel appreciated, they tend to work harder. Shocking, right? It’s not magic; it’s just basic human nature. When employees feel valued, they’re more likely to go above and beyond, because who doesn’t want to impress the person who actually notices their effort? In fact, research shows that recognition is one of the most powerful motivators out there – even more than perks like free coffee or a pizza party. So, next time you’re wondering why your team is dragging their feet, maybe it’s not because they’re lazy (contrary to what your inner monologue is saying, but yes, sometimes that's true too). Perhaps it’s because they don’t feel appreciated. Go ahead, try saying “thanks, I appreciate it” once in a while.If you want your workplace to be a place of collaboration, creativity, and decent productivity (without too many complaints), appreciation is key. Recognising people’s hard work makes them feel like they’re part of something bigger, and suddenly, they’re all in. Instead of hoarding praise like it’s some rare commodity, consider giving a little credit where it’s due. When people feel valued, they’re more likely to stick around, engage more, and – believe it or not – show up to work with a smile. A bit of public acknowledgment doesn’t hurt either. Did someone hit a target? Solve a problem? Get a tough task done? Give them a moment to shine. You’ll find your team is suddenly more willing to share ideas, collaborate, and help each other out. Who knew?Now, let’s talk turnover. If you’d rather not spend a fortune hiring and training new people every year, appreciation might just be your best friend. High turnover rates are expensive, and you’re also losing all the knowledge, skills, and institutional memory your experienced team members bring to the table. People don’t quit jobs, they quit managers who fail to recognise their worth. So, if you want to keep your team around, it’s pretty simple: show them you appreciate them. It’s much cheaper (and way more effective) than constantly recruiting new talent. Plus, once word gets out that your company actually cares, you’ll start attracting top performers who’ll want to stick around.OK, I hear you – you’re busy. You’ve got emails to send, meetings to run, and probably a spreadsheet that’s making you wish you were somewhere else. But trust me, a five-second “thanks, I appreciate it” goes a long way. Recognising someone doesn’t have to involve a parade – it can be as simple as a genuine compliment, a quick shout-out in a meeting, or an unexpected thank-you email. People will remember it.If you’re feeling extra invested, you can implement a formal recognition program, where peers can give each other kudos. That way, no one feels singled out – everyone can feel like part of a team that actually supports one another. But really, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Just show some respect, and watch the productivity soar. At the end of the day, appreciating your people isn’t about being a “soft” manager, it’s about being a smart one. When your team feels valued, they’re more engaged, more loyal, and more likely to give their best. So don’t be the person who only shows up when things go wrong. Be the one who’s quick to recognise and reward good work. Your team will thank you for it – and who knows, they might just go the extra mile because of it.Saying “thanks, I appreciate it” isn’t just a nice thing to do – it’s a game-changer. And the best part? It costs you absolutely nothing.

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Nostalgia: The Digital Era of the Early 00s

Published: 29 November 2024Ah, the early 00s. Before the iPhone took over our lives and basically released the same phone with a different number next to it every year, as if we wouldn’t notice. You remember when the Blackberry reigned supreme, right? Yes, you know everyone on Gossip Girl had one. And then there was the Motorola Razr—both were the must-have tech that defined an era. Back then, technology and social media were just starting to feel magical, and the internet was a bit of an unknown.Let’s not forget the joy (and mild panic) when you had to add prepaid credit to your phone just to send a few texts. You’d wait for the “You’ve got $5 remaining” message, and your heart would sink. It wasn’t just about the credit; it was the fear of running out mid-convo. Or because you were texting the contestant number too many times for your favourite person to win Big Brother or Australian Idol. We didn’t have unlimited data and Wi-Fi; we had limits.But first, there was the indestructible Nokia. Are they still around? Before all the smartphones, the number one game on our phones was Snake. You didn’t need an app store full of choices—just a tiny screen and a snake. You’d play it on your parents' phone while waiting for them to finish shopping. Speaking of, this gives me anxiety (yes, Rhi, I’m using this word in this context) because you'd be next in line at the counter, and then your parent would tell you to hold the line while they quickly ran off because they’d forgotten something. The absolute horror when the cashier would take that little stick divider and start scanning your items and there was no adult around to pay. Fuck! Scary times.Anyway, who remember's MSN? After school, you’d get home and grab a snack—probably an LCM bar, Le Snack, or a Roll-Up—and run straight to your humongous family computer. You’d tell your family they couldn’t use the phone because you were about to go on dial-up internet (such nostalgia comes to mind with that noise). You’d then log into MSN, see who was online, ready to chat and change your display name about 500 times. Oh, and the nudge? The passive-aggressiveness. Also, did anyone else appear offline and wait for their crush to sign on? The excitement!And then there was MySpace. If you didn’t have one, what were you even doing? It wasn’t just a social network; it was your digital personality. You could pick your own profile layout (I felt like a professional coder), upload a selfie, and, of course, rank your friends in your Top 8. Savage. If you fell out with someone, you could bump them down the list, and of course, they’d notice. It was the first place where we really learned the art of social media manipulation. And the music! If you didn’t have your favourite song playing on a loop or on your profile, were you even trying? MySpace was the place to post lyrics from your favourite singers (or some emo band no one had heard of).And while we’re reminiscing, let’s talk about The Sims. You could build houses, create drama, and flood kitchens with a tragic lack of logic—because, really, what were the odds your Sims would actually cook dinner without burning the house down? We’d spend hours creating these little families, only to ruin them with bad decisions or lack of food supply. Which reminds me—remember the Tamagotchi? You’d grow your little alien (or whatever it was), and if you forgot to check on it, the screen would be filled with their poo. It was a life lesson in responsibility... or, in my case, the first real thoughts of never wanting kids.But it wasn’t just the games that were exciting back then—it was the whole experience of entertainment. If you wanted to watch the latest season of The OC or One Tree Hill, forget streaming. You had to get your shoes on and head to JB Hi-Fi, where you could spend actual money on a DVD box set. That was the dream—standing there in the DVD section, trying to pick the perfect show to binge (before binging was even a thing). There was something so thrilling about paying for a show that had been released six months prior overseas. But finally owning it on DVD made it all worth it. Fast forward to now, and all of that content is sitting there on Netflix for $15 a month. All that money we blew on DVDs feels a bit... unnecessary now, doesn’t it?Now? We’ve got more game options than we know what to do with, and streaming everything from Netflix to Stan to Disney is as easy as pressing play. But sometimes, I wonder if we’ve lost something along the way. Back then, social media and entertainment felt like a treasure hunt. The excitement was in the little things—the waiting, the anticipation, the discovery. Today, it’s all available at the click of a button, and while that’s convenient, it’s not quite as exciting as when you had to “earn” your entertainment.So, here’s a little walk down memory lane to the glory days of MSN, MySpace, Snake, and buying DVDs—the days when we didn’t have to be "on" 24/7. The days when a nudge was just a nudge, and a top 8 ranking was the height of social drama. Before social media became a career. It was real. It was raw. And, let’s be honest, it was way more fun.

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We're All Faking It to Some Degree

Published: 11 December 2024Welcome back to the sequel of “What Do You Think You’re Doing Here?”—because apparently, I really enjoy airing my insecurities for anyone who will listen. So, if you missed the first one, the key takeaway was basically that I spent way too much time wondering when someone would tap me on the shoulder and say, “Hey, we made a mistake. You don’t actually belong here. That's so embarrassing! You should probably leave now” Spoiler alert: I'm still waiting for that to happen.Anyway, I’m over it. Imposter syndrome? Yeah, I’m done with it. It’s draining and a total waste of time. So let’s talk about it, because honestly—we’re all faking it to some degree.Imposter syndrome is that annoying voice that pops up every time we level up. You land a new job, or recently promoted, meet new people, or even just show up somewhere you feel completely out of your depth. It whispers, “You’re a fraud. They’re all going to figure you out.” We've all been there. Don’t act like it hasn't happened to you. Those moments when all you can think is, “Fuck, I actually have no idea what I’m doing. They’re going to find out I’m a mess.”But here’s the honest truth: Don’t feel qualified? Nobody does. The thing is, you can only be qualified to do things you’ve already done. So guess what? Everything new? Accomplished by unqualified people. Good work! Everyone starts somewhere. We’re all a little unqualified at first. But that’s how you grow. That’s how you become the person who actually knows what they’re doing. You’ll only feel “qualified” once you’ve faked it enough times that it stops feeling like a scam and starts feeling like a skill.Because I like you—and yes, I really do appreciate you being here, reading my blog—I want to share something important: Imposter syndrome starts to fade when you stop apologising for taking up space. When you show up—imperfect, messy, and without the unrealistic expectation that you should have everything figured out. That’s when you actually start making an impact—not just on your own life, but on everyone else around you. When you own your space, you make room for others to do the same.Also, you’re not alone in this. Neither am I. We’re all just trying to get through the day without embarrassing ourselves, and that’s completely fine. And when those moments do happen, the best thing to do is call it out—"Wow, that was embarrassing. Moving on." People respect honesty and genuine transparency, so owning it like that actually shows strength. Take back that power. The more we embrace that, the less power imposter syndrome has.If we all admit we don’t have the answers, we can stop pretending we do. And guess what? No one’s actually going to tap you on the shoulder to tell you that you don’t belong and are clearly faking it. But if they do, firstly, that’s so rude—report them to HR or the police. Too dramatic? Yeah, I guess. Maybe you could just flash them a smile, wink, and say, “Oh, aren’t we all faking it to some degree?” Then turn around and keep up the act. Now that's someone I can respect, no matter how delusional they might be at times.So, stop pretending you don’t belong. Stop waiting for someone to catch you. We’re all figuring it out, showing up, and trying to own our place at the table. So take your seat.Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some Googling to do. How to spell the same word I forget every single time without fail in an important work email—wish me luck.

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Have Yourself a Candid Little Christmas

Published: 24 December 2024Ah, Christmas. The most wonderful time of the year (for me, that is)—unless, of course, you’re a parent trying to assemble a kid’s toy at midnight. But honestly, that’s their own fault for having kids. But seriously, what I love about Christmas is that it’s one of the few times of year when we can come together with family and friends to share some laughs. There’s magic in the hot summer air—probably from the combination of the heat and the wine, but hey, we’ll take it.There’s something undeniably comforting about this time of year. The holiday period, from Christmas Eve to New Year’s, is like a safe space or a wellness retreat. Long days by the pool, a lot of nothing on the couch, catching up with family and friends, and listening to music—I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Even if that means listening to Mum sing at the top of her lungs, 'I’m Outta Love' by Anastacia. If that’s playing, you’ve usually reached the finale of the night, complete with her little dance moves (she should be careful, though—she recently had one of her knees replaced).And then there’s the joy of giving. Who doesn’t love the stress of finding the perfect gift for people who are usually impossible to shop for? If you’re anything like my sister Aimee and me, we usually just buy what we want throughout the year. So, when someone asks what we want for Christmas, we’ve often already got it—we like to “treat” ourselves a lot. But really, it’s the thought that counts, right? Despite the gift-giving pressure, there’s a warm feeling in the act of choosing something for someone else. Even if it ends up being something they’ll exchange later, or that will get shoved in a drawer for the next three years. The real gift is the fact that you thought about them… for about 10 minutes before you clicked “order now” online.The worst part of Christmas is the endless piles of wrapping paper that get thrown around with reckless abandon. You spend so much time and effort carefully wrapping presents, only for them to be torn apart in seconds. Yes, I get it—it’s all part of the fun and excitement, but honestly, it’s really not worth the stress of trying to tape those edges down perfectly. So, to those who buy gifts for me in the future, feel free to skip the wrapping altogether. Just hide the gift behind your back and present it to me as is—that’ll work just fine.Christmas also has a way of making you reflect on the past while creating new memories. It’s like a nostalgic trip down memory lane, hearing the same stories year after year—even if they involve the same embarrassing moments, like the time I was attacked by a monkey at the monkey forest in Bali when I was younger. Fun for you, traumatising for me. I’m over here, mentally scarred for life, while they’re all dying of laughter. Merry Christmas, indeed.Ultimately, what I love most about Christmas is that it reminds me of the true value of family and friends. In a world that often moves too fast and feels disconnected at times, Christmas offers a moment of togetherness. Sure, it may come with its fair share of unnecessary chaos and family drama (we all have that one relative, right?), but it’s all part of the package. Christmas is about more than the decorations, the presents, or even the Christmas trifle I try to hijack. It’s about the people we share it with—the laughter, the love, the moments that make our family ours.So, here’s to the chaos, the carbs, and the magic. After all, those moments are the real gift of Christmas. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Stay safe and merry.Oh, and please add 'Underneath the Tree' by Kelly Clarkson to your Christmas playlist.